Jazz

Ahhhh not a whole lot of things better in life, then sitting in an upstairs room, staring up at the ceiling, and listening to Charlie Parker. I sure feel like I'm flying with the birds. Thank you yardbird suite.

Keeping Me On My Feet

Change.

It seems like our whole lives are always changing, every day we feel different and see things different.

Sometimes I can't figure out if that's a blessing or a curse.

Don't you wish you could just hold onto something?

Forever?

And actually trust that it would never change?

I do.

But I suppose that's what memories are for.

Because even if the person you shared them with,

Doesn't remember, doesn't care, and doesn't hold onto them.

You do, and it happened.

Even if everything changes from then on..

The moment in the past doesn't.

And never will

As long as you live..

The memory is constant.

I love that.

A lot of times, we hear to live in the present.

And only so.

But I wouldn't forsake dreaming...

For sometimes the present isn't so easy.

But Your Dreams can always be full of light.

Even if they're impossible, or ridiculous..

They can be your Waterloo Sunset.

And always be fine.

Sometimes I think I'm so selfish.

Selfish Selfish Selfish.

But I don't want to be...

How do we balance taking care of ourselves..

With unselfishness?

It's confusing sometimes.

Can I just give myself up?

I really want to..

Just let myself go..

And do whatever it is everyone else wants me to.

At least then everybody else would be happy.. right?

I'd lose all respect

I'd be taken advantage of

I'd be taken for granted.

that's what they tell me.

I stood up for myself the other day.

I finally did exactly what I wanted.

And simply said "I don't Care"

And now I feel sad about it.

Funny how you probably don't care.

And never have.

What's really the right thing to do?

It says in the scriptures it's easy to figure out

Anything that leads you to God is good

Anything that leads you away, even a little bit, is bad.

But what about when you can't tell where the road takes you?

What about when your lost?

I want to do what's good.

And according to everyone else, I did.

But who's right?

I'm confused

Can someone tell me?

Or push me?

Or forcefully drag me?

Down the right road?

Because sometimes I don't know...

Right Here at Home

You'd Be Surprised How Far You're Feet Can Take You.

Over the Dirt Road, Through the Green Trees, and Across the Lake. Over the Log, Over the Wall, and Through the Meadow. I found the happiest I've ever been. And it's still with me :)

I know, I do.

I just can't express it.

How happy I feel today.

How happy I'll wake up tomorrow

And go to sleep tonight.

And how I'll dream about the stars.

I don't know what happened, I can't explain it.

But... Over the Hills and Far Away

And Right Here at Home.

I Just feel... Warm inside.

I just feel.. Happy.

Happy.

That word has been off and on in my vocabulary for a while.

But I think....

After all...

I feel so Loved.

And I feel that feeling that has not been so common

But is what we are...

I feel..

Joy :)

Kids

Girl, You really got me going.

You got me so I don't know what I'm doing (na na na na na) (that was distorted guitar via mouth..)

The Kinks!

Wahoo!

Best band Ever!

Not Really!

But Close To!

Hey, Hey, I got an idea.

What's that?

I don't know..

But you just said..

No, I didn't.

You can't prove it!

I can scroll up.

Darn that Bill Gates and his innovative scrolling things...

They have me!

No it's just um... you know, it's just..

well... It's not really the best thing to be doing.

It's not?

Nope.

Then what is?

Well...

Let's start with the letter A. Sing wit me now...

A is for Apple, I like to eat those.

B is for Banana, I also like to eat those.

C is for Cake, I like to eat that too.

D is for Donuts, of which I am the king of Chicago

E is for Elephant, which I ride on my Indian adventures with Shorty

You're not Indiana Jones, and You're not finishing the alphabet.

Fine, Dr. Harrison Ford.

I'm not a doctor, I'm a master.

Oh really? a Jedi Master?

Yeah, but only the White One.

Darn.

Jules Jules Jules.

The only girl I've ever loved...

Was born with roses in her eyes!

No Neutral Milk Hotel, here, sir.

Sadly.

The elephant I'm riding in India, and the other five, would be upset.

(puny)

Don't stick apples in my stereo, olivia! That might screw up the Tremor Control. It's set on Neutral, and I want to hear about the milk spilled in the hotel in Montreal! Of the Power of Elves, I really don't know. I'm sure if we put up some Music Tapes, they'd come running.

(Dang, That collective should pay me. Also Puny :) )

I'm so happy!

You'd cross the road to, if you saw me coming!

You'd better get running, or there's gonna be trouble, with a capital Mr. T!

Whoa, I ate too much.

But I'm so happy right now!

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

I. Guess. You. Say. What can make me feel this way? (Tell it to me!)

Something in the way...

In my life...

We can be heroes..

I just can't stop smiling anymore :)

Thank you :)

I should probably go run and sing. But I already am singing.

Hello, Kid, Again

Hello, Life, Again

Hello, Love, for the first time in a long time :)

This song isn't stopping. And I this time I know it :)

Rain

Oh I loved the sound of trickling rain. I loved the sound of it pouring on me

I love the smell of it, I loved dancing in it.

I'd love to know what it feels like to puddle jump.

I love rain.

Rain fall on my windowsill

Keep me safe

I feel safer with Rain.

Rain let me sing in you

Let me dance in you

I feel safer with Rain.

Its like a fresh clean start for everybody, the world, and everyone in it. Keep raining.

And when the rain clears, keep sending Rainbows. Of course, they will always be there. But appreciate them when they come :)

Rain reminds me that I put to much emphasis on those things that don't matter. And not enough appreciation for the beauty that is happening around me, all the time. Oh rain, keep falling. Fall through tonight. And keep me warm tomorrow.

Keep me warm tomorrow. Remind me of Tomorrow.

Because it's always another day.

And I promise, This tomorrow, will be different.

:)

Love Most Bright

I laid out on the grass, in the sunset. And waited for the sky to turn it's dark blue.

I waited until the stars came out, and gazed up at them. I stargazed, on the softest blue blanket.

I watched as the beauty of the sky overwhelmed me. And then I felt so small. Yet I felt something else to.

A glowing in my heart. A tear rolled down my cheek, but it was truly a tear of joy. I haven't felt that in so long.

I haven't felt the cool breeze that made me smile. I haven't curled up in the blanket, and felt myself getting warmer, and loved it. I haven't fell in love with a night, with a moment, with a memory, and wrapped myself around it, and I did again. Thank you blue blanket, Thank you cold grass. Thank you Stars.

Life is so beautiful, it really is. :)

Sometimes we get wrapped up in work, or school, or the confusion of things. And we do forget what really matters. But we're people. We can remember to :)

We can remember that life, that love, that every little color, or cloud, or rainbow we see is a blessing. And every time our heart glows, or we smile, or laugh.. That God is showing us how much he loves us :)

I do not know a lot of things, not at all. I'm so Naive

But I do know.. Because I felt it in my heart..

That Life is so beautiful :)

That They Might Have Joy

Why am I always looking for something to make me happy?

Silly me. I learned something so very long ago.

Happiness is the Journey. Not the Destination.

It's right in front of my nose, it is :) Stop looking for something to make you happy, if you do so, you will spend your whole life looking. Because happiness is beneath your feet, happiness is in your smile, in your front yard. Happiness is in the blue sky, in the grass. Happiness is in the laugh of your friends, in the smile of the person who loves you. Happiness is everywhere, it's in the journey of life. It doesn't matter what happens, it's always there.

Silly me. Don't I remember?

Men are that they might HAVE joy. Not search for joy, not know of joy, not expect other people to give them joy. But HAVE joy. That means it's right here.

God's love is right here.. I just have to hold onto it.

Do what's right.. Have courage.

And Happiness is always right there :)

I remember now.

Yes, Happiness is the Journey, not the destination.

Don't go looking for happiness.

For if you do, you'll only leave it behind.

Because it was right there the whole time.

:)

The Secret Chord

I'm not really dramatic, you know.

I'm really a kid, in my heart.

It's really pretty simple

But sometimes we forget who we are.

But that's why God gave us friends.

So when we forget, they can sing it back to us.

I'm pretty sure we're singing "Come Sail Away".. Apologies to Styx, even though they should apologize for writing 'Mr. Roboto' in the first place :) James Hardman, I don't even know what aday at school would be like were you not there. And just yelling your last name "Hardman!" makes everything better. And I still laugh so hard everytime I think about "Gladiatah.. Gladiatah, Gladiatah, Gladaitah!" or "We're Done" :). You're the best, Hardman!

He's bringing sexy back.. yah! Mckay Bowcut, you've been my friend since the beginning of time, I'm pretty sure you always will be. Thank heavens for that Pink Crayon.. and the Yoshi Team! :) You're the Best, McKay.. yeah, i put a capital K in there that time.. :) You've made me laugh every single day, without fail. I don't even know what life would be like without you.. because all memory of life so far for me... has had you in it :) And I wouldn't have it any other way :)

See ty, that's a guitar. And what you do, is you just pick it up, and you just play it... :) Ty singerman, basically my songwriting and musical ability would be no where without you. And you've definitely got me through some rough times, and some rougher times. And, although that was in fact a fail on the bubble break, we have the best memories. You're the best Ty! :)

Sammy Ray! I mean.. Sam. Yes, just Sam. That's probably some kind of evil glare you're giving me.. I seem to get those often from you :) Really sam, you are one of the greatest people I know. You're always looking to do the right thing, and you have one of the biggest hearts. Watching Lord of the Rings with you, and making fun of it the whole way through, is one of the best memories I have. And thank you for putting up with me and my drama. You are one of the best friends I person can ask for. Thank you Sam! :) And I think we promised to be friends forever.. in a sort of roundabout way... :)

Joshery.. You're probably quoting something right here. Probably Batthumb.. GaaaThumb. GAAAAthumb :). Josh, thanks for making me laugh all the time. Even though we argue about politics... (Glenn Beck isn't always right.. cough) You really are one of the best friends a guy can ask for. You're the best josh! :)

And as McKay snuck his way into the picture.. Ben glared back menacingly. Ben! I miss going to school with you all the time, I miss singing disney songs with you pretty much everyday. You are still one of the funnest people I know to be around, and you make me laugh so hard. I know you don't like it so much anymore.. but you'll always be cooler then Gaston to me! Oh what a guy.. Ben Krutch! :)

Honor Choir :) can't get enough of those days.

It's a picture of Tiko! :) Marinda, thank you so much for talking on the phone with me for who knows how long.... and for putting up with my terrible John Lennon impression.. ha ha :) and my terrible beat poems.. although that one where I said "and curl your hair" was pretty good! :) Marinda, you're the best! And thank you for drawing me this picture... it's awesome! :) You know, it's just uhhh... it's a good picture and all, you know? I just uhhh.. I really like it and all, you know? I just uhhh.. I find the colors to be quite accurate and all you know? :)

Daina Daina Daina.. You are simply one of the most amazing people I've ever met! :) Everytime you text me, or call me, or hang out with me, I'm automatically in a better mood. That's something so wonderful about you! I don't know how many days I couldn't have got through, if you hadn't texted me, and asked me how I was doing. :) And you have wonderful taste in music.. except for that one band, whom you know of... :). Daina, you really are one of my best friends. It's an epiphany! :)

And where in the world would Kason be, without his good old cousin Seth? Probably in the hands of the mystery man, considering you've saved me from his evil clutches from the time I was 5 to now. :) Seth, I don't know a lot of things, but I do know that you are the best cousin a guy could ask for! Really, what would life be like without our countless all nighters, especially the one where we played Lego Star Wars.. or the one where you built a lego boat, and started acting out the characters, and basically had me out of my head laughing. Or the one where we talked about what it's like to be a teenager, and how we should just stay kids. I think so far, we've been doing a pretty good job :).

I don't know a lot of things.

And sometimes I even forget who I am.

And forget my heart song.

But it's okay.

Because God blessed me with such wonderful friends.

Who sing it back to me, every time :)

I hope I can even be half the friend

Or half the person

You guys are :)

You make me want to be a better person

And that's all I need

To know that you are, the greatest friends a guy could ask for.

I don't know a lot of things

I even forget my own heart song

But it's okay.

Because God blessed me with such wonderful friends

Who sing it back to me every time :)

:)

It's Over

It's funny, when people talk about their stories. Especially really bad ones, or nightmares. You never really think it's going to happen to you, because you can't see change before it happens.

But then sometimes it does happen to you. And you wished you would've listened more to others stories.

False Friends. I'd never even knew what that meant, when I was little. Friends are so low drama, friendships are so easy to maintain, what in the world would a false friend be? That was how I always thought. So I never really paid attention when people told me to beware of false friends, because I didn't even think such things could even exist.

And then, of course, life gave me two false friends, who really really hurt me. Probably cried more in the last year, then I did in my whole life. Life's funny that way, isn't it? Life is also funny, in the sense that it also gave me so many wonderful friends that I didn't take notice of. So many really wonderful people that I sometimes take for granted, and I wish I didn't. I really do love them so much, especially the two whom I can honestly say are two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

Life definitely throws trials at us. And Sometimes it seems unbearable, but if I've learned anything, it's this: There is always something good. Even when the whole world comes crashing down, or when your heart is torn to shreds, God doesn't leave us alone. He gives us good friends. He gives us family. And he gives us music and light.

I wish I would've listened to others stories, maybe this would've been easier. But maybe I learned something, alone. Maybe because I didn't know how to deal with it, I had to learn. I learned what a real friend is. And most of all, I learned that there is always some light, even in the most intense darkness. And I learned how to Shine it. :)

Oh, and I learned how to bring sexy back.... yeah!

Thank you, Malay.

Hold My Hand

Don't you just wish someone would walk you through life sometimes?

Hold your hand and tell you what your supposed to do?

Gosh, I wish I had that.

Because right now, I really have no clue.

And It's not really that easy.

It's never really that easy.

is it?

Just help me, somebody

Tell me what I'm supposed to do.

Because I really don't know.

What's a person do, when they have no idea WHAT to do?

Does anyone know?

I don't.

I'm so lost right now.

Goodness

Goodness is having courage.

Courage to do what's right

Courage to feel something.

Courage to overcome betrayal.

Courage to have fun.

Courage to smile.

Courage to laugh.

Courage to prove that Life is good.

Take One Day at a time.

Have a Good time.

Try to Remember Always

To have Courage.

Goodness is having Courage

Courage to do what's right

All I've Ever Learned from Love

Blue Sky

Blue Sky Reflects

The Wind in My Face

Blue Sky Reflects

The Clouds Up Above

I Looked Up to Heaven

And I Saw Myself

Blue Sky Reflected Me

I Found Myself Again

I Remember Kason

Let's Just Hope I Don't Lose It

Cause My Heart Can't Take It

It Can't Ever go Through it.

Ever again.

Ever again.

I Can See For Miles

It's true.

I deserve to be happy

And I'm happier without you.

Not without how you were, no.

But without how you are now.

I really lost my friend long ago

you've never really returned.

Not really.

Blue Sky Reflects

It reflected me today

I'm Keeping Kason

He's here to stay

And you find your thing

but it's not here

because I'm a kid.

And that's all I'll ever be.

Blue Sky reflected happiness.

And this time i'm holding on.

I'm holding on to my Waterloo Sunset

And I'm holding on to love.

For a minute there, I think I lost myself.

But I think I found him again :)

Stargaze, sing, dance. Really Kason, be yourself :) You can do it, you know how happy you were.

For a minute there, I think I lost myself.

But I found him again :)

Talk To Rain

I try to explain, it ends up getting so jumbled.

I sound so stupid

I'm so stupid.

so so stupid.

I'm so sorry I bothered you.

Pitter pat pat

As I sat ever so still

Pitter Pat Pat

Said the Rain on my Windowsill

Happy Birthday Kason

From the Rain Did I Hear

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

A Smile Came as I answered, Okay.

Don't forget what matters most

I won't.

And don't change for someone else

I haven't.

Happy Birthday Kason

From the Rain Did I Hear

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

Love Life, for It's all there is.

I do.

Hold Onto Your Best Friend,

I always have.

Sing as loud as you can

I will.

And don't forget what He did for you.

I never can.

Pitter Pat Pat

As I Sat Ever So Still

Pitter Pat Pat

Said the Rain on My Windowsill

Happy Birthday Kason

From The Rain, Did I Hear

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year