Turn on the Light

Pride is the universal sin; of course. I never really came to this conclusion with that same certainty and conviction,  until I really opined about the nature of pride. How many times I've felt it, I've shown it, and expressed it

Pride is a false safety net for our imitation conscience, that our spirit truly rejects. It's something that gives us a false sense of happiness, or contentment, that is so close to real happiness, and real contentment, it's incredibly easy to believe you're feeling one when you're feeling the other.

We get prideful about lots of silly things. We're prideful of our money. We're prideful of our stuff. We're prideful of our righteousness, ironic as that is. Heck, we're even prideful of our own humility. And we see all these things as just a means of increasing our own 'standing', or some invisible rank of success we give ourselves. We think we're better than others because we have more money, or more stuff, or because we're more "righteous", or more "humble".

We see everyone else as a threat with pride. You can't truly love anyone when your filled with it. Pride is by nature competitive.

 If I was to engage you in conversation about your faith, and you had a different belief on certain things than I do, pride can manifest itself quite easily. I say to you that you cannot base your belief on faith alone, but it has to also logically and by comparison to other faiths, make sense. You believe, however, that faith alone is all you need, and logical reasoning can only lead us to the false ramblings of men, which will ultimately lead you astray. We argue and argue this point, until the conversation abruptly ends, and we both walk away dissatisfied with the outcome. But pride, of course, brings us back to some level of false contentment. I walk away thinking "how silly, you would blindly walk in faith. You have no ability to think for yourself, like I do. I know so much more than you, how much more understanding I have." Whilst you, also filled with pride, walk away thinking "what a fool. Faith is all you need, and because I walk in faith, God favors my diligence. How much closer to heaven I must be." When, of course, how far away we are from the heavens is probably immeasurable.

But humans, in their best moments, know what it feels like to feel no pride at all. To truly lose themselves. It's times like that that we feel truly happy. It's that feeling of joy that comes only in special moments, when we see everyone around us as friends and teachers, loved ones and helpers, brothers and sisters. When we remember that life is simply for happiness sake, not for some kind of invisible status climbing. It's moments like these that make the gates of Hell crumble, because for that moment in time, we truly and incontestably beat Satan. He cannot tempt what is not prideful.

But pride sneaks it's way in very quickly after such moments, thus insuring such moments sparsity. And life again becomes some endless rat race to become the best, the richest, the most righteous, the highest of the high. When all we're doing is digging our own hole downward.

Pride is the universal sin; of course. Not one human is not guilty of it, in fact, I'm probably guilty of some sort of pride right now. Probably dozens of instances of pride all throughout my day. Infinite amounts of pride throughout my lifetime. But to beat pride is to win everything. To lose yourself is to have eternal life. I can think back to the last time I remember feeling absolutely happy. And of course, it happened when myself didn't matter.

Because it's not about me.
And it will never be about me, no matter how much I like to act like it is.
Life is truly lived when life is only lived for the sake of living it.
When what we have is not just good enough but everything we could ever want. When blessings are recognized every moment,
When we truly love our neighbor, because we envy, we covet, we long for nothing.
Because life is only truly lived when life is not about yourself.

We Beheld Again The Stars

"We climbed, he first, I following, till to sight

  Appeared those things of beauty that heaven wears

  Glimpsed through a round opening, faintly bright;

  Thence issuing, we beheld again the stars."

            - Alighieri, Dante. The Divine Comedy. The Inferno.Canto XXXIV.

                  Translated by Laurence Binyon

And so Dante and Virgil climb out of the depths of hell, and take a breath of fresh air. And Dante gazes at the stars.

These four lines have been going through my head since I read them, and they refuse to go out. What a wonderful poet Dante was. When I read them, I couldn't help but smile to myself as I thought about them.

Dante and Virgil had just experienced Hell, in the most literal sense of the word. They had gone and seen all the punishments of the sinners, and had experienced the pain, the torment, and the misery of Hell. Yet, no word of complaint escapes from Dante's mouth. Instead comes the realization of a blessing, or the gratitude for those beautiful things that heaven wears.

How often is it that I look at all the negative things that happen to me, and I don't focus on all the things that have been given to me? Nothing can ever be so bad that I can not look around, and see something wonderful, like the stars, or the clouds, or hear the sound of a laugh.

And troubles always come, no doubt about it, but goodness, isn't that what we're here for? To learn, and grow, and become something better?

And no doubt, God will always give you something at the end of a trial, as a way of saying "I'm proud of you." like the stars that Dante sees.

I feel like I've been ungrateful lately, or selfish. I could say I never wanted to be, but a friend of mine taught me that you never make a choice you ultimately don't want to make. And I can choose to be grateful, and happy, and positive, just as I can choose to be ungrateful, and sad, and negative.

I have been going through a rough time lately, but that gives me no excuse. It's only rough because I'm  focusing on the negative, instead of the positive. And I'll make it through this trial, just as Dante made it through Hell. And I can look at those beautiful things that heaven wears every night, to remind me to keep going.

I know I can be better.  It's my choice after all.

Selfishness and Ingratitude never lead to anything but misery. Living with those is not really living at all.

"Real Life is a response to the best within us. To be alive only to appetite, pleasure, pride, money-making, and not to goodness and kindness, purity and love, poetry, music, flowers, stars, God and eternal hopes, is to deprive one's self of the real joy of living"

       - David O' McKay

Goodness and Kindness. Purity and Love. Poetry, music, flowers, and Stars.

That's what I'm living for. That's what I'm supposed to spread.

That's what I'm supposed to notice. That's what I'm supposed to show to others.

And hey, look at that, I can see a star out of the window...

To Whom it May Concern

Da da da.. da da da da da da! Da da da... da da da da da da! Da da da da!

Please sing whatever random song of epicness comes to mind with the onomatopoeia up there. In a complex interval, so it sounds like the sound of minds being blown. Or Chariots of fire.  Kapow! Batman. Whoohooo! And Robin! Boooo.... Fine! Make like Christopher Nolan and keep him out of the franchise! Yay!!! But what about George Clooney? He can't be happy! Except for he robbed all those banks successfully... With Matt Damon... And we all love Matt Damon. 

Wow, this title sounds like I'm about to say something of immeasurable importance. Which of course.. I am.

the website formerly known for hosting my band's various thoughts has been changed. it is no longer www.newyearproject.com. And is now www.thepassingfaces.blogspot.com. Yay! the link is in the doodlydoo. Or the sidebar. And you may have to refollow, since blogger has issues with such things. Like the rest of you! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... ha ha ha ha... HA? No i wasn't laughing at you, I was actually laughing with you! Because your laughing right? Of course you are. Why wouldn't you be? Isn't the world funny enough for you? Of course it is, says I. The pirate. I mean... moving on....

And..

I WENT TO HOMECOMING YESTERDAY AND HAD A BLAST!!! 

even though I drove sort of insane. But they shouldn't have asked a mildly insane person to drive! eh?

so who's the insane one? The fool or the fool's who ask him to drive?

But seriously, homecoming was an incredible experience and It's definitely going to be a cherished memory. Alisha, the girl I went with, is awesome. Totally awesome. Beyond the fabric of awesomeness.
For reals :).

So... go, venture, find, discover... the band's blog once again. It's got a super cool background! And about such things, I couldn't lie. I'm incapable of lying about band information. Im serious! They made me sign a contract. And EVEN though I tried to burn it multiple times.... Apparently it still applies because I signed it. Curses.

So! Go venture, find discover...wait.. we've already been here before. I mean... I have at least. YOU, on the other hand, might be one of those poeple that don't read the whole thing, and skip to the bottom. In which case, this is your first time hearing this information. Hi, I'm Kason, how are you? Good. Now... Doodlydoo Time! That's a great word. Go to my band's blog!  Scroll, Scroll, and Away!!!!!

The Storm

The sailor had been away from home for such a long time, the very idea of returning home to see his family made immeasurable joy swell up in his heart. As he returned from his last port onto his small sailboat, the journey ahead seemed so much more hopeful. This time he was going home.

As he looked at the horizon, he imagined his return home. He imagined his kids, now much older than when he left, running to him and embracing the return of their father. He imagined his wife, watching from the shore as he pulled into port. And her eyes gleaming just as bright as they always had. He looked down at his compass. "You'll bring me back home" he mumbled to the tiny object that held the pathway to his familiy. "You'll bring me back home"

Days passed as he steered the boat home, but the compass he always kept in hand. He pressed it close to his heart, and he looked on the horizon with all the hope in the world.

But as he was looking on, he felt a little drop of rain fall onto his shoulder. He swiftly turned his head to see the fateful spot of water that rested on his body. He thought at first that it was nothing, only a sprinkle, and continued sailing home.

But the rain soon came down faster, and the wind started to blow. He grabbed hold of the sail to keep it on the course, but the storm soon overpowered him. The rain pelted his body, the wind wrecked havoc on his little sailboat, and the man was frantic with fear. He could not see anything past the rain and storm, and only held dear to his little compass, close to his heart. He felt that if he held onto that, it would be like holding his family. Holding the way back home.

But the storm only got worse. The boat began to dramatically rock back and forth, and the man lost his balance. He held onto the compass with all his might as he fell, but he lost his grip as he hit the floor. He watched as the only thing that held the way to get back to his family, fell from his hand and was lost in the raging sea in front of him.

The storm continued to rage on, but the man lost all the hope he had once been so filled with. The sailor sank down to he bottom of the boat, and curled himself up. The tears ran down his face, because he knew he was lost at sea to die. The compass was the only thing he knew could take him home. He began to think of ways to end the agony quicker. He prayed as hard as he could for God to take his life from him.

He looked over the side of the boat, and saw the dark blue waters. His only thought was to jump now. To end the pain now, and jump into the dark abyss that lay before him. Not one other thought entered his head, as he slowly pressed his weight toward the water. He was going to take his own life.

But he jumped back as a flash of light went across his eyes. He looked around, and saw nothing. He looked again, nothing. He thought it was simply his own mind playing tricks on him. He put the thought behind him and again looked at the water. And again the light flashed! He looked around with more focus, and saw a beacon of light shining repeatedly through the storm. Through the rain, clouds, thunder and lightning, a lighthouse shined in the distance.

The hope that was once in his heart, was once again there. The storm was pushing him towards the shore, to that shining light on the hill! He stood up once again, and thought of his family. Of holding his kids again. The land gradually and gradually got closer until he could swim to shore. He jumped from his boat and swam to the shore. He ran through the sand until he reached the grass, he ran through the grass until he reached the house. His house. The house that for so long he could only go to in his dreams.

He opened the door to his home, and saw his family. His kids ran up to him and jumped on him, as his wife's eyes gleamed, just as he had remembered. He smiled the biggest smile he could and ran and kissed his wife. He held all of them close to his heart, and vowed in the same heart to never again let them go.

As he was holding his family, tears ran from his eyes as he thought of how he had returned home. The wind still blew outside. The rain still poured unbearably. But heard those sounds, he only heard the sound of a friend. He heard the sound of unbelievable love. He heard the sound of the thing that he once hated, but now loved with all his heart. He heard the sound of the love of God. He heard the sound of the storm that had brought him home.

Hope

Sometimes you hope more than anything that you could tell someone that everything is going to be okay.
And that they would believe you.
You start to hope that if you pray loud enough, they might hear you.
That they might know that you love them.
Your head sinks into your knees, when you lose faith.
And you beg in between tears
That they might hear you
Until the words no longer come, and you fall asleep hopeless.

I know that you know what you know, but do you know what you think you know? no?

You know how you know I know (wow that sounded cool) that my life must be all right?
The most stressful thing going on right now is I keep freaking losing in Cube Field. Dumb black part. Gosh dang it. And it's not like I haven't gotten to the pink before, cause I have! I've even gotten to the second little colorful ditty! (I know... I know.. thank you, thank you.) But that black part is giving me stress! UGHHHHHHH!!! If that little diamond shaped icon, doesn't squeeze through the next miniscule gap i ask it to.. I will be very much upset. very. much. upset. AHHHHH!!! I am going to find every single diamond shaped icon in the world and destroy it! DESTROY IT! but then my poor mouse would die... and that would be sad... You know, I better not play cube field during or anytime near the Grammy awards. It'd probably kill me. Yep. That is all.

Home

It could have been when I saw Paulie, and screamed so loud as I could. And he played "A Day In the Life" and me and Ty almost fainted.
It could have been when I saw Inception, either time it was. And Alisha was poking her nose, and I was dumbfounded, and Mckay and Ty's minds were blown
It could've been when I went to San Francisco for the first time, and fell in love with the city. And saw Steven Tyler and Aerosmith way to close for comfort.
It could have been all the summer seminary, with Bro. Anderson of course. Who's always going to be one of my heroes
It could've been when I went up to Idaho, and spent time with My uncle Todd.
It could've been Ty's party, when I played the fugitive for the first time. (and did all the shopping)
It could've been tonight, when I saw that shooting s tar. And Cat and Nate and Curtis were all jealous, because they couldn't find one.

It could've been Waterloo Sunset, that wonderful song. That never will leave me, and will carry me along.
It could've been Salem Pond, my favorite place to write. It could've been that smile, that I know gives off a light
It could've been the songs, that Ty's genius has written. It could've been the music, or the joy of simply living.
It could've been the idea that this summer is unending. It could've been the the joy I have, in knowing I'm never stuck pretending
It could've been the wonder I felt, just gazing at the sky. And knowing that God is listening, to every laugh and cry.
Wherever the feeling came from, I never felt alone. All this summer I've felt a feeling, that no matter where I am, I'm home.

Not Too Far Away

It's interesting what you learn, when you just give yourself up to it for a while.

I spent the last few days in Idaho, spending time with my family. My Aunts and Uncles and Cousins, and My Uncle Todd of course.

I look up to My Uncle Todd in many ways. He's probably the person I want to be most like, when I get older. Him and My Dad.

I also played with my cousins, who are just little. Still little enough to believe in there own imagination.

I wonder why we give up innocence so fast. Like it's nothing to hold onto.. We try and grow up so fast. And then we spend so much time feeling empty, because we aren't ready to.

It felt good to recapture some of that feeling that we give up so quickly.

I also saw stars like you wouldn't believe there. The night sky was lit up so brightly, it was incredible. And I saw fields of grass that seemed to go on forever. And old houses that always find me thinking of what they were like so long ago.. When perhaps they were the nicest house there was.

Some of the things I saw, inspired me musically a lot. I will hopefully be writing many songs over the next few days. But the inspiration to hold onto innocence that I found not too far away... Is something I will cherish for a very long time.

It's interesting what you can learn.. When you simply open yourself up to it.

Of The Heaven

Float on a cloud with me

Float on a cloud with Me and forget.

Me and You, Together.

My Perfect Friend.

We Sat Among the Stars

My Funny Friend and I

And Wondered At The Light

That Reflected From the Sky

We Told Each Other Stories

From Far Away and Near

Some Made Us Laugh and Smile

Some Made Us Cry to Hear

He Told Me Of Adventures

He Told Me Of His Home

He Told Me Of The Heaven

That He Had Wandered From

I Listened, So Intently

So as Not to Miss a Smile

He Told So I Could Comprehend

And Lay Along, A While

He Taught Me About Happiness

And Goodness, and It's Light

He Taught Me About Shadows

He Wandered Through the Night

He Taught Me How to Overcome

To Learn, To Persevere

He Taught Me That Loving Joy

Doesn't Mean You Can't Shed a Tear

He Told of Wonderful Places

He Had Walked Along His Way

He Told Me Of The Light

And How To Make It Stay

I Listened Hard, Bewildered

At His Wisdom and His Love

For All He Sees Around Him

And All The Worlds Above

I Saw a Twinkle In

His Eye as We Came Down

From the Sky Above

And On To Solid Ground

I Asked Him Could I Learn

To Love and Live Like You

He Said It Would Take Time

But For Now, Take What I Knew

He Said He'd Be To Teach Me

And Tell Me Stories Once More

And Let Me Smile and Laugh

But Not Till The Next Night O'er

So He Told Me His So Long

And I Said My Good Bye

And I Walked Back To My House

And Opened the Door With a Sigh

But Now The Stars Seem Brighter

As My Friend And I Were There

Among The Lights In Darkness

So High Up In The Air

He Would Be There Again

But I Still Don't Know When

So I'll Dream Really Hard

So I'll Be Ready Then

To Float On The Cloud

Among The Stars Again

And Listen to The Stories

Of My Funny Friend

The Days are Just Packed

Although Life is not easy

So filled with regret

It is taking a nap in a tree

Or watching the sunset.

It's truly laughing with people you love

Or reading a book you can't put down

Or helping someone who needs it

Or dancing all around

Or singing as if no one can hear it

And laughing when they do

Or getting under a blanket

And look at the night's sky view

It's the memories you never knew

Or thought that you would make

It's loving the unexpected

And learning from your mistakes

It's the wonderful sound of music

That life tends to give

It's learning how to love

To accept, and to forgive

It's never been so easy

No, not quite

But why do we see the darkness

When all around us is light?

Always Smiling

Dancing all around the house to "All My Friends". Watching Radiohead Live. Having a Water Fight. Eating Hamburgers. Laughing at McKay, just about every second. Laughing at Ty attempting to say "Massage". Reading War and Peace, for as long as I can handle Pierre and Andrey. Enjoying new music. Writing New Music. Texting Daina, and letting her make me laugh and so happy. Staying up till two in the morning with my cousin. Rocking out to The Crunge. Letting The Rain Song take me away. Letting The Orb trip me out. Staring at the stars, and laying on the cold grass. Swimming at my dad's house, and letting him kick my butt in water basketball. Staying up late every night, and texting McKay about.. smoothies. Movie Hunting with my sister. And simply enjoying wasting time.

This is summer :)

But i still haven't seen the bridge...

Where is that confounded bridge? :)

Goodness I love summer.

And Led Zeppelin.

And Life

Always Smiling :)

Ain't So Hard

The feeling of feeling nothing almost hit me.
The feeling I hate most of all..
The complete emptiness. Like nothing matters.
And then The Rain Song, by Led Zeppelin came on.

The song reminds me of sitting in the bottom floor of Booth Bros, waiting for Curt to let me in to his room to teach me guitar. It reminds me of sitting on my bed, in my old condo, so long ago.. And listening to Led Zeppelin. And being so awestruck. It reminds me of when every sentence I said mentioned Led Zeppelin. It reminds me of feeling warm in coldness.. It reminds me of that summer, when it felt like everything was certain. It reminds me of "Mothership doesn't do justice".
The song reminds me of when everything was simple between friends. And it reminds me of when everything became that way again. It reminds me of good times, and bad times, but it reminds me of overcoming them to.. Because this song.. and Led Zeppelin.. has been in my heart for so long.

It reminds me of what my dreams are. It reminds me of what music can do.
It reminds me of who I want to be. It reminds me of the light, and how it went away.
It reminds me of how I got it back.
The Rain song reminds me of many things..
And it teaches me many things.






So much in a song...:)
That the feeling envelopes me
And I don't feel so empty
I feel life :)

The Roses

It's not really about growing up. Or jumping the next wall. Or crossing the next river. Or getting through all the shadows.

I mean, that's all part of it, of course. We need to learn how to overcome, to hold on, to see past all the darkness. We need to learn how to make our own light.

But do we skip the roses?

I've heard the phrase before. "Stop and smell the roses." Every time I hear it, it gets me to thinking.

Do we skip the roses?

It seems like we always want something other than what we have. We want to get to a new road, a new excitement. Something different

But do we skip the good on the road we're already on, in our attempt to hurry to the next?

Stop and Smell the Roses.

I'm so little now..

I've got such a long way to go.

But I don't want to rush it.

I want to stay a kid for as long as I can

I've got another forty years, before I have to grow up,

Right? ;)

Maybe even another eternity..

If I try.

Look around you.. You'll see

The world is so wonderful.

Magical, really.

If you believe it to be :)

For the world can only be as good

As you allow it to be :)

Don't hurry so fast

Because when you get to the end

You'll be empty handed.

But if you stop and smell the roses

Maybe even pick a few

You'll come to end with a beautiful bouquet

That will last for as long as you allow :)

Happiness comes with you

When you allow it to :)

Better When We Pretend

I don't think we have to be realistic. I mean, everyone says we do.. So it is that we won't get disappointed.

But I think we can just dream. Dream dream dream. And don't worry about it. That's what you taught me today.. When we looked at the clouds. You didn't say anything.. But I learned that. Because maybe most of the time we will be disappointed. But I just felt like we forget that miracles can happen. That people, oh wonderful people... are capable of doing whatever it is they set their mind to. And that dreams do come true.

I have silly dreams, but that's okay.

I want to have a wikipedia page, and I want the opening paragraph to say "Along with his partner and collaborator, Ty Singerman, he is widely considered to be the greatest songwriter of the 21st century".

I want to win an academy award for best original score.

I want to be inducted into the rock and roll hall of fame.

I want Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood to put a song by me on their "charts"

I want Alan Menken and John Williams to say "well done" about my music..

It's silly, I know. So So Silly...

But it's my dreams :) And you taught me, today, that it's okay to dream.

Just dream and dream. And then work at them.

Because you control your own destiny.

Waterloo Sunset's fine..

Oh so Beautiful..

Isn't it? :)

Something Great

You know something?

We're always going to be friends.

Really Friends Forever, As Long as That Is.

Until the End of Time, Which isn't there.

And I honestly and truly believe that.

Us Three, The Shcmakwells and Scrupmties, The Doves that Dance, The Yoshi Team, The Deep Thinkers, The Music Makers. The Singmen

That's something I don't really think about much

Because I've already accepted it, maybe taken it for granted.

But Sometimes I think I really should appreciate it.

Because I think it's a rare thing...

It's Something Great.

I mean, when the whole world comes crashing down...

We could still find something to laugh about huh?

And we have.. and we will..

We're not always the nicest friends, we're not always the no drama friends (especially me), we're not always the most fun friends, we're not always the kindest friends..

But we always are, no matter what, the best of friends.

And that's something rare..

It's Something Great.

Girl Problems, School Problems, Stupid Problems, Whatever Problems. I know we'll have a lot

But we've been there for each other..

And We'll Be there for each other..

So it doesn't have to be so hard.

It's really a rare thing..

It's something Great :)

Jazz

Ahhhh not a whole lot of things better in life, then sitting in an upstairs room, staring up at the ceiling, and listening to Charlie Parker. I sure feel like I'm flying with the birds. Thank you yardbird suite.

Keeping Me On My Feet

Change.

It seems like our whole lives are always changing, every day we feel different and see things different.

Sometimes I can't figure out if that's a blessing or a curse.

Don't you wish you could just hold onto something?

Forever?

And actually trust that it would never change?

I do.

But I suppose that's what memories are for.

Because even if the person you shared them with,

Doesn't remember, doesn't care, and doesn't hold onto them.

You do, and it happened.

Even if everything changes from then on..

The moment in the past doesn't.

And never will

As long as you live..

The memory is constant.

I love that.

A lot of times, we hear to live in the present.

And only so.

But I wouldn't forsake dreaming...

For sometimes the present isn't so easy.

But Your Dreams can always be full of light.

Even if they're impossible, or ridiculous..

They can be your Waterloo Sunset.

And always be fine.

Sometimes I think I'm so selfish.

Selfish Selfish Selfish.

But I don't want to be...

How do we balance taking care of ourselves..

With unselfishness?

It's confusing sometimes.

Can I just give myself up?

I really want to..

Just let myself go..

And do whatever it is everyone else wants me to.

At least then everybody else would be happy.. right?

I'd lose all respect

I'd be taken advantage of

I'd be taken for granted.

that's what they tell me.

I stood up for myself the other day.

I finally did exactly what I wanted.

And simply said "I don't Care"

And now I feel sad about it.

Funny how you probably don't care.

And never have.

What's really the right thing to do?

It says in the scriptures it's easy to figure out

Anything that leads you to God is good

Anything that leads you away, even a little bit, is bad.

But what about when you can't tell where the road takes you?

What about when your lost?

I want to do what's good.

And according to everyone else, I did.

But who's right?

I'm confused

Can someone tell me?

Or push me?

Or forcefully drag me?

Down the right road?

Because sometimes I don't know...

Right Here at Home

You'd Be Surprised How Far You're Feet Can Take You.

Over the Dirt Road, Through the Green Trees, and Across the Lake. Over the Log, Over the Wall, and Through the Meadow. I found the happiest I've ever been. And it's still with me :)

I know, I do.

I just can't express it.

How happy I feel today.

How happy I'll wake up tomorrow

And go to sleep tonight.

And how I'll dream about the stars.

I don't know what happened, I can't explain it.

But... Over the Hills and Far Away

And Right Here at Home.

I Just feel... Warm inside.

I just feel.. Happy.

Happy.

That word has been off and on in my vocabulary for a while.

But I think....

After all...

I feel so Loved.

And I feel that feeling that has not been so common

But is what we are...

I feel..

Joy :)

Kids

Girl, You really got me going.

You got me so I don't know what I'm doing (na na na na na) (that was distorted guitar via mouth..)

The Kinks!

Wahoo!

Best band Ever!

Not Really!

But Close To!

Hey, Hey, I got an idea.

What's that?

I don't know..

But you just said..

No, I didn't.

You can't prove it!

I can scroll up.

Darn that Bill Gates and his innovative scrolling things...

They have me!

No it's just um... you know, it's just..

well... It's not really the best thing to be doing.

It's not?

Nope.

Then what is?

Well...

Let's start with the letter A. Sing wit me now...

A is for Apple, I like to eat those.

B is for Banana, I also like to eat those.

C is for Cake, I like to eat that too.

D is for Donuts, of which I am the king of Chicago

E is for Elephant, which I ride on my Indian adventures with Shorty

You're not Indiana Jones, and You're not finishing the alphabet.

Fine, Dr. Harrison Ford.

I'm not a doctor, I'm a master.

Oh really? a Jedi Master?

Yeah, but only the White One.

Darn.

Jules Jules Jules.

The only girl I've ever loved...

Was born with roses in her eyes!

No Neutral Milk Hotel, here, sir.

Sadly.

The elephant I'm riding in India, and the other five, would be upset.

(puny)

Don't stick apples in my stereo, olivia! That might screw up the Tremor Control. It's set on Neutral, and I want to hear about the milk spilled in the hotel in Montreal! Of the Power of Elves, I really don't know. I'm sure if we put up some Music Tapes, they'd come running.

(Dang, That collective should pay me. Also Puny :) )

I'm so happy!

You'd cross the road to, if you saw me coming!

You'd better get running, or there's gonna be trouble, with a capital Mr. T!

Whoa, I ate too much.

But I'm so happy right now!

Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

I. Guess. You. Say. What can make me feel this way? (Tell it to me!)

Something in the way...

In my life...

We can be heroes..

I just can't stop smiling anymore :)

Thank you :)

I should probably go run and sing. But I already am singing.

Hello, Kid, Again

Hello, Life, Again

Hello, Love, for the first time in a long time :)

This song isn't stopping. And I this time I know it :)

Rain

Oh I loved the sound of trickling rain. I loved the sound of it pouring on me

I love the smell of it, I loved dancing in it.

I'd love to know what it feels like to puddle jump.

I love rain.

Rain fall on my windowsill

Keep me safe

I feel safer with Rain.

Rain let me sing in you

Let me dance in you

I feel safer with Rain.

Its like a fresh clean start for everybody, the world, and everyone in it. Keep raining.

And when the rain clears, keep sending Rainbows. Of course, they will always be there. But appreciate them when they come :)

Rain reminds me that I put to much emphasis on those things that don't matter. And not enough appreciation for the beauty that is happening around me, all the time. Oh rain, keep falling. Fall through tonight. And keep me warm tomorrow.

Keep me warm tomorrow. Remind me of Tomorrow.

Because it's always another day.

And I promise, This tomorrow, will be different.

:)

Love Most Bright

I laid out on the grass, in the sunset. And waited for the sky to turn it's dark blue.

I waited until the stars came out, and gazed up at them. I stargazed, on the softest blue blanket.

I watched as the beauty of the sky overwhelmed me. And then I felt so small. Yet I felt something else to.

A glowing in my heart. A tear rolled down my cheek, but it was truly a tear of joy. I haven't felt that in so long.

I haven't felt the cool breeze that made me smile. I haven't curled up in the blanket, and felt myself getting warmer, and loved it. I haven't fell in love with a night, with a moment, with a memory, and wrapped myself around it, and I did again. Thank you blue blanket, Thank you cold grass. Thank you Stars.

Life is so beautiful, it really is. :)

Sometimes we get wrapped up in work, or school, or the confusion of things. And we do forget what really matters. But we're people. We can remember to :)

We can remember that life, that love, that every little color, or cloud, or rainbow we see is a blessing. And every time our heart glows, or we smile, or laugh.. That God is showing us how much he loves us :)

I do not know a lot of things, not at all. I'm so Naive

But I do know.. Because I felt it in my heart..

That Life is so beautiful :)

That They Might Have Joy

Why am I always looking for something to make me happy?

Silly me. I learned something so very long ago.

Happiness is the Journey. Not the Destination.

It's right in front of my nose, it is :) Stop looking for something to make you happy, if you do so, you will spend your whole life looking. Because happiness is beneath your feet, happiness is in your smile, in your front yard. Happiness is in the blue sky, in the grass. Happiness is in the laugh of your friends, in the smile of the person who loves you. Happiness is everywhere, it's in the journey of life. It doesn't matter what happens, it's always there.

Silly me. Don't I remember?

Men are that they might HAVE joy. Not search for joy, not know of joy, not expect other people to give them joy. But HAVE joy. That means it's right here.

God's love is right here.. I just have to hold onto it.

Do what's right.. Have courage.

And Happiness is always right there :)

I remember now.

Yes, Happiness is the Journey, not the destination.

Don't go looking for happiness.

For if you do, you'll only leave it behind.

Because it was right there the whole time.

:)

The Secret Chord

I'm not really dramatic, you know.

I'm really a kid, in my heart.

It's really pretty simple

But sometimes we forget who we are.

But that's why God gave us friends.

So when we forget, they can sing it back to us.

I'm pretty sure we're singing "Come Sail Away".. Apologies to Styx, even though they should apologize for writing 'Mr. Roboto' in the first place :) James Hardman, I don't even know what aday at school would be like were you not there. And just yelling your last name "Hardman!" makes everything better. And I still laugh so hard everytime I think about "Gladiatah.. Gladiatah, Gladiatah, Gladaitah!" or "We're Done" :). You're the best, Hardman!

He's bringing sexy back.. yah! Mckay Bowcut, you've been my friend since the beginning of time, I'm pretty sure you always will be. Thank heavens for that Pink Crayon.. and the Yoshi Team! :) You're the Best, McKay.. yeah, i put a capital K in there that time.. :) You've made me laugh every single day, without fail. I don't even know what life would be like without you.. because all memory of life so far for me... has had you in it :) And I wouldn't have it any other way :)

See ty, that's a guitar. And what you do, is you just pick it up, and you just play it... :) Ty singerman, basically my songwriting and musical ability would be no where without you. And you've definitely got me through some rough times, and some rougher times. And, although that was in fact a fail on the bubble break, we have the best memories. You're the best Ty! :)

Sammy Ray! I mean.. Sam. Yes, just Sam. That's probably some kind of evil glare you're giving me.. I seem to get those often from you :) Really sam, you are one of the greatest people I know. You're always looking to do the right thing, and you have one of the biggest hearts. Watching Lord of the Rings with you, and making fun of it the whole way through, is one of the best memories I have. And thank you for putting up with me and my drama. You are one of the best friends I person can ask for. Thank you Sam! :) And I think we promised to be friends forever.. in a sort of roundabout way... :)

Joshery.. You're probably quoting something right here. Probably Batthumb.. GaaaThumb. GAAAAthumb :). Josh, thanks for making me laugh all the time. Even though we argue about politics... (Glenn Beck isn't always right.. cough) You really are one of the best friends a guy can ask for. You're the best josh! :)

And as McKay snuck his way into the picture.. Ben glared back menacingly. Ben! I miss going to school with you all the time, I miss singing disney songs with you pretty much everyday. You are still one of the funnest people I know to be around, and you make me laugh so hard. I know you don't like it so much anymore.. but you'll always be cooler then Gaston to me! Oh what a guy.. Ben Krutch! :)

Honor Choir :) can't get enough of those days.

It's a picture of Tiko! :) Marinda, thank you so much for talking on the phone with me for who knows how long.... and for putting up with my terrible John Lennon impression.. ha ha :) and my terrible beat poems.. although that one where I said "and curl your hair" was pretty good! :) Marinda, you're the best! And thank you for drawing me this picture... it's awesome! :) You know, it's just uhhh... it's a good picture and all, you know? I just uhhh.. I really like it and all, you know? I just uhhh.. I find the colors to be quite accurate and all you know? :)

Daina Daina Daina.. You are simply one of the most amazing people I've ever met! :) Everytime you text me, or call me, or hang out with me, I'm automatically in a better mood. That's something so wonderful about you! I don't know how many days I couldn't have got through, if you hadn't texted me, and asked me how I was doing. :) And you have wonderful taste in music.. except for that one band, whom you know of... :). Daina, you really are one of my best friends. It's an epiphany! :)

And where in the world would Kason be, without his good old cousin Seth? Probably in the hands of the mystery man, considering you've saved me from his evil clutches from the time I was 5 to now. :) Seth, I don't know a lot of things, but I do know that you are the best cousin a guy could ask for! Really, what would life be like without our countless all nighters, especially the one where we played Lego Star Wars.. or the one where you built a lego boat, and started acting out the characters, and basically had me out of my head laughing. Or the one where we talked about what it's like to be a teenager, and how we should just stay kids. I think so far, we've been doing a pretty good job :).

I don't know a lot of things.

And sometimes I even forget who I am.

And forget my heart song.

But it's okay.

Because God blessed me with such wonderful friends.

Who sing it back to me, every time :)

I hope I can even be half the friend

Or half the person

You guys are :)

You make me want to be a better person

And that's all I need

To know that you are, the greatest friends a guy could ask for.

I don't know a lot of things

I even forget my own heart song

But it's okay.

Because God blessed me with such wonderful friends

Who sing it back to me every time :)

:)

It's Over

It's funny, when people talk about their stories. Especially really bad ones, or nightmares. You never really think it's going to happen to you, because you can't see change before it happens.

But then sometimes it does happen to you. And you wished you would've listened more to others stories.

False Friends. I'd never even knew what that meant, when I was little. Friends are so low drama, friendships are so easy to maintain, what in the world would a false friend be? That was how I always thought. So I never really paid attention when people told me to beware of false friends, because I didn't even think such things could even exist.

And then, of course, life gave me two false friends, who really really hurt me. Probably cried more in the last year, then I did in my whole life. Life's funny that way, isn't it? Life is also funny, in the sense that it also gave me so many wonderful friends that I didn't take notice of. So many really wonderful people that I sometimes take for granted, and I wish I didn't. I really do love them so much, especially the two whom I can honestly say are two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

Life definitely throws trials at us. And Sometimes it seems unbearable, but if I've learned anything, it's this: There is always something good. Even when the whole world comes crashing down, or when your heart is torn to shreds, God doesn't leave us alone. He gives us good friends. He gives us family. And he gives us music and light.

I wish I would've listened to others stories, maybe this would've been easier. But maybe I learned something, alone. Maybe because I didn't know how to deal with it, I had to learn. I learned what a real friend is. And most of all, I learned that there is always some light, even in the most intense darkness. And I learned how to Shine it. :)

Oh, and I learned how to bring sexy back.... yeah!

Thank you, Malay.

Hold My Hand

Don't you just wish someone would walk you through life sometimes?

Hold your hand and tell you what your supposed to do?

Gosh, I wish I had that.

Because right now, I really have no clue.

And It's not really that easy.

It's never really that easy.

is it?

Just help me, somebody

Tell me what I'm supposed to do.

Because I really don't know.

What's a person do, when they have no idea WHAT to do?

Does anyone know?

I don't.

I'm so lost right now.

Goodness

Goodness is having courage.

Courage to do what's right

Courage to feel something.

Courage to overcome betrayal.

Courage to have fun.

Courage to smile.

Courage to laugh.

Courage to prove that Life is good.

Take One Day at a time.

Have a Good time.

Try to Remember Always

To have Courage.

Goodness is having Courage

Courage to do what's right

All I've Ever Learned from Love

Blue Sky

Blue Sky Reflects

The Wind in My Face

Blue Sky Reflects

The Clouds Up Above

I Looked Up to Heaven

And I Saw Myself

Blue Sky Reflected Me

I Found Myself Again

I Remember Kason

Let's Just Hope I Don't Lose It

Cause My Heart Can't Take It

It Can't Ever go Through it.

Ever again.

Ever again.

I Can See For Miles

It's true.

I deserve to be happy

And I'm happier without you.

Not without how you were, no.

But without how you are now.

I really lost my friend long ago

you've never really returned.

Not really.

Blue Sky Reflects

It reflected me today

I'm Keeping Kason

He's here to stay

And you find your thing

but it's not here

because I'm a kid.

And that's all I'll ever be.

Blue Sky reflected happiness.

And this time i'm holding on.

I'm holding on to my Waterloo Sunset

And I'm holding on to love.

For a minute there, I think I lost myself.

But I think I found him again :)

Stargaze, sing, dance. Really Kason, be yourself :) You can do it, you know how happy you were.

For a minute there, I think I lost myself.

But I found him again :)

Talk To Rain

I try to explain, it ends up getting so jumbled.

I sound so stupid

I'm so stupid.

so so stupid.

I'm so sorry I bothered you.

Pitter pat pat

As I sat ever so still

Pitter Pat Pat

Said the Rain on my Windowsill

Happy Birthday Kason

From the Rain Did I Hear

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

A Smile Came as I answered, Okay.

Don't forget what matters most

I won't.

And don't change for someone else

I haven't.

Happy Birthday Kason

From the Rain Did I Hear

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

Love Life, for It's all there is.

I do.

Hold Onto Your Best Friend,

I always have.

Sing as loud as you can

I will.

And don't forget what He did for you.

I never can.

Pitter Pat Pat

As I Sat Ever So Still

Pitter Pat Pat

Said the Rain on My Windowsill

Happy Birthday Kason

From The Rain, Did I Hear

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

Touch Heaven

Me and you, we're just kids. We forget that so many times throughout the day, the week, and the month, but it's true. We really should be smiling and laughing. But We have a problem: We want to figure out the meaning of the universe right now.

We get so deep, And then we lose ourselves, I think. But we don't have to figure out everything today! Truth is, we've got a whole lot of years to figure the universe out. Just about forever, really. :) So let's be kids today, okay? And let's be kids tomorrow. Because maybe that is figuring everything out.

And maybe, after we do have the whole universe figured out, you can look at me and tell me all about it. And give me that look you do. And then I'll smile at you, and tell it to you backwards.

Don't you remember? We had it figured out.

Don't you remember?

Remember When Me and You Touched Heaven?

I Do.

The Sun's In My Heart

It's Singin' In the Rain Time :)

I love rain. I love the sound it makes on my window as I fall asleep. I love the smell of the world after it.

I love singing in it :)

Talk To Rain

I try to explain, it ends up getting so jumbled.

I'm so stupid.

so so stupid.

I'm so sorry I bother you.

I wish I could just tell you

But it sounds so stupid to.

I'm so sorry I bothered you.

Pitter pat pat

As I sat ever so still

Pitter Pat Pat

Said the Rain on my Windowsill

Happy Birthday Kason

Said the Rain

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

Okay.

Don't forget what matters most

I won't.

And don't change for someone else

I haven't.

Happy Birthday Kason

Said the Rain

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

Just Love Life

I do.

And Love Her

I always have.

Sing as loud as you can

I will.

And don't forget

I never can.

Pitter Pat Pat

As I Sat Ever So Still

Pitter Pat Pat

Said the Rain on My Windowsill

Happy Birthday Kason

Said the Rain

Happy Birthday Kason

Make it a Good Year

Days

Some Things Don't Change

Hold Onto Those

Hold Onto Smiles

And Keep Love Close

Some Things Don't Change

Some Friends Are Always There

Some Things Always Make You Smile

Or Leap into the Air

Time Is Ticking Always

Days Go By To Fast

But Good Memories And Smiles

Don't Fade Into the Past

And What If Today

God Made Just For You?

What if That Smile

Was a Blessing To Get You Through?

Oh Smile, Dance, Laugh

And Hold Onto Days

And Make Some Good Memories

That Will Be With You, Always

Oh Friends Don't Ever Really Leave

Because They Touched Your Heart

They're With You Always

Even When You're Far Apart

Some Things Don't Change

Some Things Always Stay

God Always Loves You

Because He Gave You Today

Harvest Park Sunset

It's been a while since I sat out and watched the sunset, until the first star appears.

What beauty fills the skies, though, when the sun does set.

I am definitely not a photographer, though I did try ha ha.

What picture do you see in this cloud? I love finding pictures in clouds. I see a reindeer in this one, a pink, leaping reindeer with a long nose. What do you see?

One of the most peaceful things to me about watching the sunset, was the sounds that surrounded me while doing so. The birds were singing in their trees, and the breeze was blowing softly. It was invigorating to all of the senses, and warm in my heart.

What beauty fills the world that goes unnoticed all the time. If we only had one sunset in ten years, or only one star filled night in a life time, what large crowds of people would surround these wonders, and hold to their beauty! But God blesses us with such wonders every day, and every night. I suppose it's just up to us to appreciate them every day and every night, just as he gives them to us :)

Of Spring

The Trial of Winter's Death

Is The Way that God Can Bring

The Spirit of Life

And the Miracle of Spring

Roads Wander and Merge

And Break Apart Away

But the Memories of the Time

Will Forever Stay

I Sit and See the Reflection

Glistening from the Pond

Of Myself and the Light

When The Colors Respond

I Smile, and I think

Of how blessed is the spring

That it brightens all the darkness

That it brings the birds to sing

How heaven sees our troubles

And Wipes away our tears

How angels comfort in the sadness

And brighten all the fears

Warmth is in the air

And warmth is in my heart

Welcome blossoms, welcome spring

Until again we part

Though I promise to love the summer

Winter and the fall

As God is still with us

And We Can Not Fall

But Dance on The Rays

Of the Sunshine that We See

Lay On the Grass

And As You Are, Be

Laughing

Laughing, what a wonder. The whole ability to laugh, probably makes the devil tremble and shake. That we can feel ourselves being so happy, that we can fill our whole souls with some joy that comes across our spirit. That other people can make you smile so hard, it becomes something you cannot contain. That people love each other, enough to feel this all together.

I guess when the chaos and dark is really making it's advances, we really do have the stronger weapon don't we? Laughter.

It's like we can make the world a better place with one simple movement

Or lighten a burden with something so simple.

Hey, Laugh Today :)

You never know who's life you just touched by doing such a simple thing :)

Come Home

I knew that I could reach the end of the path. I knew it, because I had been there before. To the End. No, not in my memory.. Yet somewhere, I knew that where I was going.. was home.

I had a bag wrapped around my shoulder, as I was walking down the path. I knew not what it was for. I only knew that I was walking home, somewhere in my heart, I knew I was walking home.

But as I walked, I noticed that in the area surrounding the path, were very attractive, colorful stones. I began to grow curious of them, and what they were. I strayed off the path, only for a moment, to go pick one up and see what it was. When I got close to one that looked particularly lovely, I picked it up.

But in the blink of an eye, the color and the glimmer that had made the rock so enticing were gone. As soon as my hand touched it, all that was once mystery drifted away. In my hand I held a very ordinary, very black, stone. I tried to drop it, hurl it back, but I could not. It stuck to my hand. The only thing I could do was put it in the sack around my shoulder. It dropped very easily into it.

I returned to the path, with the horrid rock in my sack, and continued walking home. I knew now not to leave the path, I knew. I told myself again and again, I knew now. Walk home.

But still the rocks around the path were inescapable. They were everywhere as I walked, always colorful, always enticing. My thoughts started to drift, and I began to think that the one rock was the one rock only. The others will not do what that one did, they will stay colorful, they will stay enticing. One more will not hurt.

I found another rock that again looked the loveliest, and I drifted off the path to collect it. To grasp that which has enticed me for so long. I hurried to it, to pick it up and look at it.

A tear rolled down my cheek, as I picked it up. The very black, very ordinary, very worthless stone. With all my might I tried to throw it away, rid me of the wretched thing. But it would not go, only would drop into the bag. As I returned to the path, two stones now hit each other in the bag as I walked.

No more, I told myself. I knew now, Walk Home. You know where your going is more beautiful than any of the colors these stones appear to be. Walk Home. I said these things again and again. But the enticement came again, the stones looked even more colorful, and they surrounded everywhere but the path.

One more time, I said. Once more will not hurt, these two stones barely weigh me down at all. Even if this one does not keep it's luster, It will not hurt me. It will not hurt anyone else. Once more.

I strayed off the path one more time, to hold that enticing stone. I hurried off the path to grab one, oh the enticement of them. My hand eagerly touched down on one, and picked it up.

I held in my hand, in the very palm, a very ugly, very sinister, very black stone. This one was, just as the others, more heavy then it appeared. Oh how I tried to throw it, to rid me of it, to go home weightless... But I could not. I knew I could not. It would only drop into my bag, which so menacingly sat on my shoulder.

I tried to walk again on the path, but my feet could barely lift. The bag was heavy, so heavy now. I tried to lift the bag off my shoulder, but it stuck to it. Tears flowed down my eyes, how could I have left the path again? I wanted to go home. I needed to go home. I walked forward with as much as there was in me..

But, as I walked a few more steps, I found I could not move. The bag had grown so heavy now, I fell to the ground. I fell flat onto the path. I could not get up, there was no force left within me.

The blackness of the stones around the path started to surround me. Tears were all that could come. How could I have left the path? How could I have picked up those terrible stones? The weight, even on the ground, of the bag was intolerable. I knew now I would never see home. Blackness was all that surrounded me. I closed my eyes.

But as soon as I closed them, I felt a hand touch mine. It was one of the softest hands I had ever felt. The hand lifted me to the ground and stood me back on the path. I looked at the man, who had helped me from the ground. He had a sad, yet loving smile on his face.

I felt the weight of the bag on my shoulder be lifted, I looked around. The man who had helped me, put the bag around his own shoulder. He put the weight of the stones on himself. He then put his arms around me and hugged me.

I looked up into his eyes, and thanked him with a tear of joy from my eye. He smiled at me, and began to walk down the path in front of me. I stood there for a moment, and began to cry. Cry at this man's infinite kindness, how I had gave him such a burden to carry. I did not feel I deserved his love.

I called out to him, crying "'why are you carrying the burden which I so selfishly caused.... I.. " I could not finish the sentence. The tears choked back the words.

He turned around to me and said

"Because I love you, and you are my brother. It would not be home without you. Come Home."

He smiled, and began walking again, with my sack around his shoulder, and his hand beckoning to me, to come home.

For a Minute There

It's been a while.

I felt that feeling, though, you know.

Happiness :)

I'm a kid. I'm fond of being a kid. I don't ever want to grow up. I think the smartest adults are the ones who never have. :)

I love finding pictures in the clouds, I love singing as loud as I can. I love reading by a fire, I love stargazing.

You know what?

I think it's warm enough now.

I think I am going to stargaze.

Because the stars are beautiful :)

Because the cold grass feels so wonderful :)

Because I love to :)

For a minute, there, I think I lost Kason.

But I think I've found him again. :)

Through Pages

I Love Old Books. Books that are worn, or look like they've been read thousands of times before you've held them.

I know that the story would be the same in a copy of the same book published one year ago.. or published one thousand years ago. The story inside the book would be the same.. but the book's story would not.

I almost feel like the book's own memory could teach you just as much as the story inside the book itself. If it could share with you all the people who've read it.. All the people who's life it has touched, and all the people who's life it didn't touch at all.

Because all those people have stories.. they're just not told through pages. They're only told through people who remember them or... Through the angels in heaven. I think angels tell stories.

Sometimes I wish an old book could tell me about all the people who've read it. Because I think all their stories could teach us all something. Because everyone has a story.. And they all matter.

Maybe I'm only kidding myself.. But I think angels tell stories. I think they tell them to each other, and it's like reading an old book. The story of someone's heart, though.

"To Believe Your Own Thought, to believe what is true for you, in your private heart, is true for all men - That is genius." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Because I Loved

He sat on his bed thinking. Looking out the window. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular. The thoughts were racing and that was all.

He was looking out the window at the sky, trying to capture some gleaming thought to keep his mind from racing. He noticed one of the most beautiful birds he had ever seen in the sky, not to far away. He looked away and down for a moment, and put his hands together. Maybe to pray for a thought. When, like an answer, maybe, a loud piercing noise struck his window.

He was startled, jumped up, and looked quickly out the window. The beautiful bird had struck his window, and was now laying just outside it, it's feet barely twitching. No No.. He thought. It cannot be dead.

His mind was racing, but it was not dead. The bird, though injured by the window, was just alive. He took it in to his house, kept it warm, wrapped it in a blanket and held it. It's so beautiful He thought again. It truly was the most magnificent bird the man had ever seen.

He left to buy a cage for the bird. He knew it could not fly for at least a night, and it needed somewhere to sleep. He returned home with the cage, and put the bird in it. Laying down on it's side, it was still very hurt. He gave it water, and food, and he retired to bed.

He woke in the morning to one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. The bird was singing. He rose and looked at the bird, and it was standing up again. And it was singing a song like nothing he had ever heard before. He smiled immediately, started humming along. He thought perhaps if it is standing, it can fly again. He took the bird in his arms and tried to get it to fly. But, to the man's dismay, the bird fluttered down to the ground and looked up at him. He sighed and put the bird back in it's cage. Looks like your going to be around for a while longer huh?

The bird was soon there for a week. And the more the bird was there, the more the man loved it. He loved waking up to it's wonderful song, he loved holding it. He loved simply standing on his bed and watching it, as beautiful as it was. Soon the man was forgetting the day when he had to let the bird go, and never checked to see if it could fly. He kept telling himself that it still needed to be there, it still needed his care, but he knew he was only kidding himself. The bird was fully healed in a week's time, but the man loved the bird and would not let it go.

Weeks went by, and the man noticed the bird seemed to be staring out the window and flapping it's wings. The bird looked so miserable in the cage, she wanted so badly to fly. But again and again the man told himself The bird cannot fly yet. Besides, is it not safer here? Do I not deserve the birds company, after all I've done for it? But the bird only looked sad. When the man tried to hold it, like he used to, even then the bird was sad. She wanted to fly, she wanted to see the sky, and he knew that. But he insisted on locking the bird away, because he could not be without it.

But one day, as the man tried to watch the bird as he used to, he only saw how sad she was. How much she wanted to fly. The man took the bird out of it's cage, held her, and opened the window. He hesitated Do I not deserve the bird's company? He said again. But he stopped himself. He knew he had to let the bird go. So he opened his arms and the bird flew away, and the man knew he would never see it again. He turned back and cried, and put his pillow to his head. When all of the sudden, he heard one of the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard. He looked to his window, and the bird had returned, and was singing to him. He immediately got up from his bed and went to the window. He watched the bird sing the song, and smiled the whole time. And then the bird flew away again, after giving the man one last song, and that was all there was.

His neighbor came to the door as the bird was flying away, and when the man opened the door, the neighbor asked him "Why are you letting the bird go?" And the man, behind his tears, gave a little smile. He looked out the window at the most beautiful bird he'd ever seen, and said
"Because I love her."

Sometimes

Thank Heavens. Thank Heavens Music Stays the Same.
When I Want to hear a song, it plays. And it's the song I want to hear. It's always there, always the same.
Music never tells me "Oh, I don't want to play a song right now."
It never says "Why would I play a song for you?"
It never says "No, I'll go play a song for someone else instead"
It never says "I don't care about you, why would I play a song for someone that means nothing to me?"
It never says "I don't like you anymore, screw you, I'm gone."
It never says "You're not worth playing a song for"


I just press play and it goes.
Always the same.

Sorry, I'm probably saying something so obvious. But.. How much I love music. I can't fully express it. It's something a little bit bright when the world seems dark. And... Maybe not everything changes.

And maybe change.. is a choice. Sometimes I think we just look at change like it's this inevitable thing that will always happen. And yes, it will always happen, but don't forget that we have to choose something.

Life is full of choices, everyday you make thousands of them. Some are big, some are small. But all of them affect your life in a small or big way, and every one changes something.

"It is not our abilities that make us who we truly are. It is our choices." You could be capable of being the most wonderful person in the entire world, but you can always choose not to. You could be capable of causing torment, misery, and sadness in someone. But you don't have to, you choose to. Everything you do, you chose to do.

And I don't think everything changes. The power of light to always overcome darkness doesn't change. You shine a light, the darkness goes away. Every time.

I'm sorry, I'm probably just stating the obvious. That's probably all I'm ever doing. Sometimes I"m not quite sure why I write. Is it for someone to read, or just for me? Either way, do I do anything that even matters?

Sometimes I feel pretty worthless.

I miss you. You know.

I always miss you.

But you don't miss me.

Because i'm nothing to miss.

Nothing to miss.

Sometimes.. I feel overwhelmed

Sometimes I think I make the right choice, and nothing good ever comes out of it.

Sometimes I want someone to do something romantic for me. Something nice for me. I want to know someone cares about me. That maybe, they're thinking about me.

But maybe I don't deserve it.

Maybe good choices don't always have good consequences.

But shouldn't I choose good anyway? Shouldn't I love anyway?

Shouldn't I be myself.. because that's all I can be?