Fated to Pretend

When I wake up every morning, and when I go to bed every night, I have such a different mind set than I do when I am going through the day. When I am dreaming, when I am just laying in bed, I feel so different than when I am at school.

I can't explain it, and I don't know if everybody else feels the same way. But I am not Kason, really, when I'm going through the day. I am the Kason that I want people to see, or the Kason I am capable of portraying. To some people, I have showed my true inner self, but that Kason, ME, has also been rejected.

I am always acting, I think we all are. We are all parts in an epic play, in which we are not really being ourselves.

But I wish to be myself, all the time! Myself enjoys the very simple things in life, I simply want to love without question, seek wonders, and sing in the rain. The very essence of happiness, is enjoying the simplicities. I don't want to go through the motions anymore.

But sure enough, tomorrow I will wake up, and become a person in the world again. It will happen, it always does. I'm not sure I'm capable of portraying my true self, at least not to everyone.

Sometimes it comes out and is rejected I think.

I have only experienced small moments where I feel that I, myself, am actually loved for exactly what I am. I think that's the love you feel in your very soul, the moments that take your breath away.