Written in the Heart of the Light

When I Woke, I was standing in a Forest. With a Stump to My Right, and a Light to my left. The Light Seemed to be floating there, not touching the ground. Free Floating. I Sat on the stump and watched it, as it floated around. I smiled, although I had no reason to. I Laughed, although nothing was funny. I was happy, and for no reason other than for being happy. Joyful, for being joyful.

But Suddenly the scenery around me disappeared, and in place of the once beautiful forest, sprung up thorns. Thorns sprouting out of everything, and surrounding me. And I heard voices, speaking to me. Evil, terrible voices.
"You're worthless, you piece of junk. How could you think you could be anything?"
"No one could ever love you"
"How could you think you deserve anything?"

And I started to cry and wail, and lash out at the thorns. But they only cut me, cut me when I tried to drive them away. I screamed, so loud that my voice gave out. And I sunk down on the Stump.

When I opened my eyes, the thorns were gone. And the beautiful forest had returned. And the light, that beautiful light, had returned as well. I sank my head into my hands, still crying. The light spoke to me.
"Why are you crying?" It asked
"Because I'm worth nothing, can't you see? The Thorns hurt me, I've no reason to be happy"

"But the thorns are gone." It said simply.
"The Thorns may be gone, but the cuts still hurt, and their words still hurt. How can you expect me to just be happy?"

"Because the thorns are gone. If you insist on thinking about the thorns, you insist on being miserable. But if you come with me, I can make you laugh and smile again."

"No." I said "You can't make me happy again. Nothing can. Go away."

"If that's what you want."

And the light left.

And as soon as the light left, the thorns returned, this time growing even closer to my face. I couldn't move, for fear of them cutting my cheeks. I cried and wailed again, although my voice was weakened. I tried to crawl away, I tried to go under the thorns, but they only moved to stop me. They cut me again. And again those evil, terrible voices.
"You actually think someone loves you? You're the most ugly thing I've ever seen"
"How can you live with yourself? You make the world a terrible place"
"If you were gone, we'd all be happier."

And it all went dark, and I thought I'd died. Thought the thorns had killed me.
But I woke, again in the forest. Again on the stump. Again with the light.

The light spoke again.
"Why are you crying?"

"Because of those thorns, you know that! Just leave me alone!" I yelled.

"If that's what you want" it said again.

But before it could disappear I yelled "No! Wait... Can you make me smile again?"

And the light floated right up next to me and said
"Follow me"

So I followed the light everywhere as it went, and as I followed it, I felt myself getting happier. I smiled, to smile. I laughed, to laugh. I felt happy, to feel happy. The light led me to a beautiful field, with tons of lights just like it. As I was surrounded by these lights, I laid down on the grass. I let myself get filled up with joy. And as soon as I stood back up, the lights started to disappear.

"No Wait!" I said. "Can we not just stay?"
The light, the original one that took me there, replied "No. The thorns will always come back, they always do. You just have to remember us, and we'll be there. Look for us."

And as they disappeared and the thorns sprung from the ground, I found myself crying again. "How could they leave me here? What did I do wrong?"
And then I remembered what the light said.. "Look for us. Remember Us."
I remembered, and then I saw the light. The thorns no longer could hurt me, their words no longer could I hear. They didn't stop trying to hurt me, I just couldn't be hurt. And I saw the light around me, in the midst of darkness.

And the thorns went away, just as they always do.
And the light returned floating above me, just as it always did.

And then the light floated around, and I smiled, and laughed, and felt happy again. Joy for feeling joy.

And then the light said "We can't ever get rid of the thorns you know"
"What?"
"They will always be there. It just depends on how you see them, and if you insist on remembering them. Or if you insist on remembering us."

"So I will always have thorns?"

"Yes, but they don't have to hurt you. You don't have to hear them. Remember the light, we remember you. Your name is written in our hearts."